When having some personal space to clear my head and my mind so I can begin writing this sunny and cozy Thursday morning, I started to cry. I have been on a whirlwind of a year with my husband and family. An accident, sickness, travel, death, family feud’s, traveling again and again and yet again, then traveling for pleasure, and meeting with old friends and witnessing their stress from family, and of course love, but not so much laughter.
An angry outbreak of several, several shingles when we got home, sleeping and resting even though I wanted to be walking and walking and walking some more with my husband. Realizing us pushing my body to be what it used to be was wonderful but it had to stop and I had to rest.
So, here I sat letting some of the weakness from life escape in hot tears down my cheeks and even let out a laughable sob, laughable because it sounds silly, but I rather like the sound, like a big exclamation at the end of my crying story.
Then I held my breathe, and waited for Joy to wrap her silent warmth around me. Thinking she was gone again, I felt bad because I might have ignored her and she left. Then my husband called and I remembered the picture he sent of himself all dressed up at work, not just a smile on his lips but in his eyes. I felt Joy looking over my shoulder.
Blaming my tears or heartache on Joy is not fair and she never leaves me. Expecting her to surface because I had felt sad then wanting to feel instantly happy was not right. She is always there. I just need to show her presence more. That hug of comfort I wanted this morning, had been when my husband pulled me close and held me safe in his arms. Joy is here and she is there and if I look Joy is everywhere. In a Charlie Brown song. In someone’s handwriting that I love. In a prayer. In a passing wave.
I pass a part of my Joy on to you. Keep her alive and pass Joy on to someone you love or someone that needs to smile. We live on an amazing earth, and there are wonderful people out there. Smile and laugh an enjoy having Joy that you can share with others. 🙂 Jen