Emeli Sande’-Next To Me is written on a little torn scrap of paper.
I keep it in the bathroom, almost in the shower,where I can see it even with my glasses off.
Our second daughter gave it to me when she was having a hard time. Even though she was struggling to pull through something, she knew she was giving me heartache.
I tried to act tough, not show any tears, but she knew. She knew I needed a little something to hold on to…..And I do not mean that little bit of paper.
She was so excited when she pressed it in my hand. I looked down and smiled. She, now fully grown with a child, had written it in pink crayon.
Just the name, Just the title. Just Emeli Sande’-Next to Me
When I listened to it with her, I again appeared strong, but the tears finally showed up.
But when I looked at her, I realized that is exactly what she needed to see, and what I needed to do.
I can not fix my children’s problems. I can not literally pull them through their struggles. But she showed me I can break down, cry, and then pray so hard for as long as I am able.
She reminded me that He is always Next to Me. I am the mom. I am of strong character, tough personality, but it is just fine to show that I need allow the weakness that allows me to accept the strength that is always beside me.
This song means something different to others perhaps, but to me it meant that she was going to make it through the twisted, rutted path she had chose. It meant we were going to walk it together,but we were not alone.